Help Children Heal, INC.

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The Daily Struggle

My son came home from the STARR program last week.  Isn’t that about all I need to say?  I’m scared and hopeful and exhausted.  He acts like the Tasmanian Devil on steroids, bouncing off the walls, literally and figuratively.  He makes nonsense noises out of the blue testing my startle reflexes all. day. long.  He’s loud and out of control, he scares the cats, he scares his sister.  He runs around all day knocking things off the tables and breaking things. He talks baby talk 80% of the day.  He has no impulse control and no concept of cause-and-effect.  He is defiant and extremely argumentative, and everyone else is responsible for “what happens” to him.  He’s rude and disrespectful when things aren’t going his way. He’s really difficult and exhausting.  All day long.

Nothing is EVER good enough for my daughter.  She complains non stop, doesn’t want to do chores so she refuses to, she’s just plain nasty, rude, and disrespectful more often than she is nice.  She alternates between being sweet and helpful to full on tantrums on a minute by minute basis.  I never know who is going to show up at any given time.  The sweet helpful girl only shows up when things are going her way.  Her tantrums consist of rude and disrespectful behavior and calling me names under her breath to stomping, slamming doors, and screaming.  Sometimes she shuts down and just looks up at me, eerily calm with blank eyes and she speaks in a sing-songy raspy voice that is a tad bit scary.  

The two of them together is a recipe for disaster.  All. day. long. She did it!  He did it!  Setting each other up, 3 levels deep.  My daughter will steal the computer from my room and hide it in her room saying her brother set HER up.  He does that sometimes so I have no idea who actually did it.  I have to give them both consequences and then the one who did it most gets the most satisfaction.  That triggers the other one to step up their game.  My son has become dangerous with my daughter, once hitting her over the head with a water bottle with a frozen chunk of ice in it, hitting her on the foot with a hammer, chasing her up the stairs with a butcher knife, etc.  I can’t keep up, It’s a battle.  It’s exhausting. 

I have to lock up all of the cords to all of the TVs, lock up the computers, Alexa, Playstation, etc.  I have to lock my room because they will steal my stuff and break it, throw it away, hide it, or whatever.  I have to lock up my Father’s room and his bathroom because they mess with his stuff and then he yells at me when he comes for a visit and stuff is missing.  Mostly his tools which my son will throw all around the yard.  I have to lock the linen closet.  I have to lock the lock boxes with the medicine and the cords in it and I have to lock the door to my office that connects the eves in my room to the eves in my daughter’s room.  I had to switch the kids’ rooms so my son wouldn’t sneak through the eves to get to my office to mess with my computer, etc.  Then I had to lock my daughter’s door so he couldn’t get in there to break her stuff and go through the eves to get to my office.  I have to remember where I put the keys or the codes to all of these lock boxes and keypad door locks.  I lose them from time to time, or the kids find them and throw them away or hide them.  Then I go buy more locks for more money.  When I forget to lock a door or something because I am running to go to the bathroom, answer the phone or just , you know, living, Somebody inevitably gets in there and then unlocks the windows so they can then get in through the window from outside.  or they switch the inside knob so then it won’t lock, unbeknownst to me. It’s a game to them, it’s beyond exhausting for me.  

Both of them have been using the computers inappropriately, my daughter to the extreme, talking and video chatting with strange men through Instagram, even going so far as to give one of them our home address!!  I’m having trouble finding good enough parental controls to find the new accounts they keep making.  Seems they can get past any lockdown I put in place.  

The worst part is that I caught my daughter with one of my Mike’s hard lemonades the other day so now I have to lock up my alcohol too.  I really needed easy access to that! 😂 I’ll lose the key, it’s just a matter of time.  UGH!

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