Help Children Heal, INC.


Hmmmm, What Happened?!

Things have tanked, and I mean seriously tanked!  My son is back to where he was long before the program.  My daughter is doing better but he’s starting to drag her down with him.  She is at a technical high school that he wants to go to.  I told him he cannot go there unless he is kind to his sister and is her protector instead of her bully.  Well, that’s not going so well as I think you all can imagine!  He keeps scaring her non stop, going in her room whenever he can and taking her things.  He brushes up against her at the top of the stairs and then I go ballistic, of course!  Ugh!  I have resorted to basically having them stay in their rooms (they both have a book, of my choice, and a fidget toy, and of course their schoolwork), coming out one at a time if they so choose to do a 5 minute chore.  Basically a test.  If they do it in somewhere near 5 minutes give or take 10, they can ask for another one whenever they are ready.  If not then I ask them in  an hour or so if they are ready to try again,  My daughter is stepping up here but my son is not.  Then he complains that he is in his room all day.  Haha!  Ugh!  I am doing this because I am just plain old sick and tired of having them tornado through the house messing it up purposely and doing one chore just to undo 2 others.  I’m tired of being treated like I’m garbage, and I was exhausted from yelling and yelling and coercing and yelling some more for them to do their chores.  NOPE, they absolutely REFUSE to do any chore without it taking 2-6 hours and not actually getting it done anyway.  

The frustration level in my head is catastrophically high and dangerously close to erupting.  I had to do this for my own mental health.  I am overwhelmed and exhausted all day every day.  This plan has given me some space and some time to breath before approaching the lion’s den.  This plan gives them control of what they do and when.  The first night I sat them down to dinner and then proceeded to finish cleaning several things (I had cut up some carrots and peppers for them to eat while I did this) so dinner took an exceptionally long time.  I was angry but I also needed them to understand the power of helping out around the house.  Two days later we had to drive an hour to the Lowes and I was talking to my son about doing chores.  I said to him that if he just didn’t want to do them there was nothing that I could say or do to convince him of their importance and so we would just stick with this plan.  He did not have to do anything he didn’t want to do but the alternative to helping out was to stay in his room.  He shocked me when he said, “Yah well, I’m starting to see why doing chores and helping is kinda important”.  I couldn’t contain my excitement, and I didn’t want him to see my elation, so I turned up the music and sang really loudly, as I do a LOT! lol

All wins are important but I think this one was HUGE!!  Now to stay strong and hold on for the ride! 

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